Post # 71 – Becoming Self-Reliant with your Finances

Dear Family and Friends

I am taking a class for the next twelve weeks to learn how I can become self-reliant with my finances. The class is a Self-Reliance Group and we get together once a week. The manual is called: ‘Personal Finances for Self-Reliance.’ I know that we talked at the end of the year about setting goals, making a to-do list each day, trying to become better at something in our lives this year – so for me right now it is to learn about and work on this part of being a little bit more self-reliant😊 so take up a chair and we will delve into my first class. The first class is ‘Becoming a Wise and Faithful Servant.’

The first thing we learned was what our group was all about – “This group will help you learn about, create, and use a budget. You will begin to build an emergency fund, create a debt elimination plan, learn to save for future expenses, and plan for retirement. Most important, you will learn more about your relationship with Heavenly Father and be invited to manage your money in ways that are pleasing to Him.”  Remember, we were just talking about ways to improve our relationship with our Heavenly Father – so here is another way that we can do this, right? 

Here is a quote from Elder M. Russell Ballard taught, “There is no problem in the family, ward or stake that cannot be solved if we look for solutions in the Lord’s way by counseling—really counseling—with one another” (Counseling with Our Councils, rev. ed. [2012], 4).

Wow!!Have you ever really thought about solving all of your family’s problems by counseling – together, and with the Lord in all things. I am sure some of you have, but this is not something that I am overly familiar with—the counseling with my family. I have done this more since my children have been grown than when they were growing up. I sometimes think to myself … why didn’t I get this when my children were growing up? This information would have been helpful for them to know as they started working and especially as they started living on their own….

I am so very grateful that the Lord is merciful and forgiving, because I need all the help I can get. I am also grateful to have the opportunity to be in this Self-Reliance group, everyone there are so loving and helpful to each other, I think it is going to be so helpful and worth the time and effort we put into the group. One of our assignments this week is to share what we have learned and that’s where all of you come it – I am sharing with each of you in hopes that it is helpful to you as well😊 I know for certain that many of you already know these things, but hopefully you are ready for a bit of a refresher course😊

My Foundation: Self-Reliance Is a Principle of Salvation.  So being self-reliant does not mean that we can have anything that we put our minds to achieving or obtaining or want or that we can do anything that we want or have set out minds on doing.  It is our hope and belief though, that through the grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ and our hard work we will be able to do what is necessary to provide for ourselves and our family those things – that are necessary for our spiritual and temporal welfare.  So, what exactly is being Self-reliant? We learn from the Church Handbook that:

            “Self-reliance is the ability, commitment, and effort to provide the spiritual and temporal necessities of life for self and family. As members become self-reliant, they are also better able to serve and care for others.”            Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 6.1.1

This quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks teaches us that:

“Whatever causes us to be dependent on someone else for decisions or resources we could provide for ourselves weakens us spiritually and retards our growth toward what the gospel plan intends us to be.”            Dallin H. Oaks, “Repentance and Change,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2003, 40 you can read the whole talk here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2003/10/repentance-and-change?lang=eng

If we are not prepared for our temporal needs, we will not be able to help others – and that is what the Lord wants us to do. If we do not have extra on our shelves, we will not have what is needed to give to those in need. You cannot share from an empty cupboard😊 If we are not prepared spiritually, we will not have the spiritual reserve to help those who need a spiritual boost.

John 10:10  -- “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

I really liked this story we read from the lesson, it really gives one something to think about after reading it: ‘He Polished My Toe’

Elder Enrique R. Falabella: When I was growing up, we didn’t have much. I remember one day when I approached my father and said to him, “Papa, I need a new pair of shoes. These ones are already worn out.” He stopped and looked at my shoes and saw they were really worn out. He said, “I think this is something we can fix.” He took a bit of black polish and polished my shoes, leaving them shiny and nice. He said to me, “Now they’re fixed, son.” I replied, “No, not yet. You can still see my toe sticking out of my shoe.” He said, “Well, we can fix that too!” He took a little more polish and he polished my toe!

That day I learned that there is a solution to every problem. I am convinced that this principle of self-reliance and this initiative is a way to hasten the Lord’s work. It’s part of the work of salvation. All of us can become better than what we are now. You have to let go of apathy. Many times we become complacent, and this destroys our progress. Every day is a day I can make progress if I decide to do something different to improve what I’ve done poorly in the past. If you do it with faith, exercising faith and hope in Christ that He will be there helping you, you will find the way to make progress in temporal and spiritual things. This is because God lives and you are His son or daughter.

You can watch the video here: “He Polished My Toe,” available at srs.lds.org/videos

I agree with what he says in this last paragraph and it is worth repeating.” This principle of self-reliance is a way to hasten the Lord’s work. Self-reliance is part of the work of salvation. We can each become better than what we are currently, both temporally and spiritually. We must give up indifference, so we do not feel like we have no need to improve and let that indifference hamper or destroy the progress that we are making temporally and spiritually. I believe too, that each day is a new day, I am always telling my kiddos this when they do not make the best choices during the day, I let them know that they can begin again and decide to make better choices each day.

We can choose to make progress if we decide to make changes in our lives to improve what we have been doing in the past that hasn’t been our best efforts. Or in my case, finding a better way of doing something so that you can make the progress that your Heavenly Father wants for me – and each of you as well😊 I also believe, as I have told you before – we can do all things with the strength of the Lord. Sure, we can do many things on our own – because that is the way He designed us. But we can do so much more if we put our trust in our Heavenly Father and believe that He and His Son are there for each one of us. They know our needs and They want to help us. They want us to become our very best selves.

If we have faith and hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, that He will be there helping us – every step of the way!  -- that is when we begin to find a way to make the improvements that we need in our lives, both temporally and spiritually. Our Heavenly Father loves each one of us and because we are His children, He wants to help us in every way – to help us fulfill the righteous desires of our hearts. This especially means when we are doing those things that He has asked each one of us to do. The first step is having faith – you remember what faith is, right? Faith is the first principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

In the Bible Dictionary is teaches us that “Faith is to hope for things which are not seen, but which are true (Heb. 11:1; Alma 32:21), and must be centered in Jesus Christ in order to produce salvation. To have faith is to have a confidence in something or someone. The Lord has revealed Himself and His perfect character, possessing in their fullness all of the attributes of love, knowledge, justice, mercy, unchangeableness, power, and every other needful thing, so as to enable the mind of man to place confidence in Him without reservation. faith is kindled by hearing the testimony of those who have faith (Rom.10:14—17). Miracles do not produce faith, but strong faith is developed by obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ; in other words, faith comes by righteousness, although miracles often confirm one’s faith.

Faith is a principle of action and of power, and by it one can command the elements, heal the sick, and influence any number of circumstances when occasion warrants (Jacob 4:4—7). Even more important, by faith one obtains a remission of sins and eventually can stand in the presence of God.

All true faith must be based upon correct knowledge or it cannot produce the desired results. Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action; it carries an assurance of the fulfillment of the things hoped for. A lack of faith leads one to despair, which comes because of iniquity.

Although fait is a gift, it must be cultured and sought after until it grows from a tiny seed to a great tree. The effects of true faith in Jesus Christ include (1) an actual knowledge that the course of life one is pursuing is acceptable to the Lord (Heb. 11:4); (2) a recaption of the blessings of the Lord that are available to man in this life; and (3) an assurance personal salvation in the world to come. These things involve individual and personal testimony, guidance, revelation, and spiritual knowledge. Where there is true faith there are miracles, visions, dreams, healings, and all the gifts of God that He gives to His saints. Jesus pointed out some obstacles to faith in John 5:44 and 12:39—42 (see also James 1:6-8). There are other references to faith in the Bible Dictionary you can find them here:

So, what exactly is being Self-reliant? We learn from the Church Handbook that:

            “Self-reliance is the ability, commitment, and effort to provide the spiritual and temporal necessities of life for self and family. As members become self-reliant, they are also better able to serve and care for others.”            Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 6.1.1

This quote from Elder Dallin H. Oaks teaches us that:

“Whatever causes us to be dependent on someone else for decisions or resources we could provide for ourselves weakens us spiritually and retards our growth toward what the gospel plan intends us to be.”Dallin H. Oaks, “Repentance and Change,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2003, 40

You can read the whole talk here: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2003/10/repentance-and-change?lang=eng

DOCTRINAL PRINCIPLES OF SELF-RELIANCE

1.Self-reliance is a commandment -- “The Church and its members are commanded by the Lord to be self-reliant and independent” (Teaching of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006]. 116).

2. God can and will provide a way for His righteous children to become self-reliant. –“And if is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine” (D&C 104:15).

3. The temporal and spiritual are one to God. – “Wherefore, verily I say unto you that all things, unto me are spiritual” (D&C 29:34).

President Marion G. Romney taught us with this quote – How do you know if you are becoming more self-reliant? 

“Without self-reliance one cannot exercise these innate desires to serve. How can we give if there is nothing there? Food for the hungry cannot come from empty shelves. Money to assist the needy cannot come from an empty purse. Support and understanding cannot come from the emotionally starved. Teaching cannot come from the unlearned. And most important of all, spiritual guidance cannot come from the spiritually weak.”

Marion G. Romney, “The Celestial Nature of Self-Reliance,” Ensign, Nov. 1982, 93

You can read his whole talk, which is chock full of great information about being self-reliant here:  https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1982/10/the-celestial-nature-of-self-reliance?lang=eng

Another one of my assignments was to read the message from the First Presidency in the front of the manual and look for the promised blessings: “The Lord has declared, “It is my purpose to provide for my saints” (D&C 104:15). This revelation is a promise from the Lord that He will provide temporal blessings and open the door of self-reliance, which is the ability for us to provide the necessities of life for ourselves and our family members.”  “You will be blessed with greater hope, peace, and progress.” in order to obtain these blessings we must: “learn and put into practice principles of faith, education, hard work, and trust in the Lord. Accepting and living these principles will better enable you to receive the temporal blessings promised by the Lord.” we must study diligently then apply the principles of faith, education, hard work, and trust in the Lord and teach these things to our families. We must learn how to act on our path toward greater self-reliance to earn these promised blessings. “Please be assured that you are a child of our Father in Heaven. He loves you and will never forsake you. He knows you and is ready to extend to you the spiritual and temporal blessings of self-reliance.” All of these quotes come from the letter from The First Presidency.

1. Become a Wise and Faithful Steward

When Christ teaching with the parable of the talents, He taught us that we must take care of all that He gives us. He allows us to be caretakers – or stewards – over the gifts that He gives us. Just like the servants in the parable if we are faithful and care for what He has given us He will be proud of us. Jesus has promised us that if we are faithful stewards with our gifts here in this life. ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord” (Matthew 25:21).

If you remember in the parable, there were three servants – one given five talents, the second was given two talents, and the third was given one talent. The first servant buried his talent because he was afraid, he would lose it. When their master returned to check on their progress, he found that The servant with the five talents invested his talents and doubled them for his master. The third servant, the one with the two talents also invested his talents and doubled them for his master. The servant with the one talent who had buried the talent given to him had his talent taken away from him and it was then given to the servant with the five talents. Then the servant with one talent was sent to outer darkness, the master said to the others in verse 29 for unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance but from him that hath no  Matthew 25:14-30 You can watch the video here : https://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/the-parable-of-the-talents?lang=eng 

As part of our stewardship, we are encouraged to be wise with our finances. President Gordon B. Hinckley taught:

“I urge you … to look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage.

“This is a part of the temporal gospel in which we believe. May the Lord bless you to set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your [families] and peace in your hearts” (“To the Boys and to the Men,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 54).

You can read the whole talk here : https://www.lds.org/ensign/1998/11/to-the-boys-and-to-the-men?lang=eng&_r=1

He has certainly taught us some really sound advice here, what do you think? 1. Be modest in your expenditures. 2. Discipline yourselves – to avoid debt if you can –only go into debt for a modest house, and to further your education, maybe for a modest car. You should try to save up for all the rest of the things you need and want.  3. Pay off your debt as soon as possible.  Why does he urge us to do this? To free ourselves from bondage. We don’t usually think of going in to debt as being in bondage – but remember interest never sleeps, it just keeps adding up – especially when we are only able to pay the minimum amount on our loans.

And what were the blessings from his counsel? If we have our debts paid off, if we have a put some money into savings – even if it is a small amount, then when the rough times come, we will have shelter for ourselves and our families and peace in our hearts. What more could we ask for than having a shelter over our heads and peace in our hearts when the troubles of our lives are raging all about us?

I have not reached the point of no debt, but I am working on it the best I can. I try hard to keep some money saved for emergencies, I know I don’t have nearly enough to pay all of my bills if something should happen, but it is a start, right? I do have peace in my heart – I think because I am truly trying to follow the counsel of the Lord given through his living prophets😊 I believe that if we are following the counsel of the latter-day prophets we can never go wrong, and we will always be blessed. We will still have trials in our lives, but we will be blessed and given the strength to handle whatever comes our way in life.

2. Counsel with the Lord about Your Finances – I learned in my group that to do this we need to pray tour Heavenly Father and counsel with Him in all our doings, especially with our finances. One of my assignments for this week is to counsel with the Lord about my finances – this means that I need to pray to Him and ask Him for the financial guidance that I need. I am learning – even at my age😊     

To be honest, I have always remembered the scripture that says ‘after all you can do’ then the Lord will take care of the rest. So, I have always thought there must be something else I can do before going to the Lord so I look to see what else I can do – after all I truly can do – before I go to Him in prayer about things. I have needed to learn to go to Him first, and then do all I can, and then come back to Him before I am so frustrated with a situation – be it about money, or lost keys, I know in my heart that He is always there for me. I just need to ask. I am getting so much better at doing this, it does take practice – at least for me—not to slide back into my old ways☹

Financial Stewardship Success Map

So, in the manual for this class there is a picture to represent our financial houses. The foundation: is Faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, unity with our spouses (and for me, adult children and grandchildren😊), and of course the commitment to becoming self-reliant!! The walls of the house are hard work and following a budget! Right above the foundation, the First thing we do is to pay our tithes and offerings to the Lord. I have through my experience found that if we pay our tithing first, all other things will work themselves out.

If you can visualize with me a large glass pickle jar – got that image in your mind? Okay, now continue on with me, the jar is on a table and beside the jar you have a large supply of rocks of various sizes and colors. There is also a bucket of sand sitting there and you are asked to fit it all into the jar and put the lid on it. What is the first thing you should put into that jar? The biggest rock—right? Okay, this rock will represent the Lord. If you try to put all of the other rocks and sand into the jar first, do you think that large rock will fit? Yes, it might, but not very easily if at all, especially of you have put all of the other things into the jar already.

Okay, now clear your mind, got it? Your jar is empty, and you are going to begin again. First put the large rock into the jar – we are putting our trust and faith in Jesus Christ. Okay, now that He is first in our lives, we can begin to add all of the other things in our lives into the jar. So, in go all of the next size rocks, then the smaller rocks – all those pretty colors too, now for the pebbles of our lives – in they go. The last thing we are going to put in our jar is the sand –and I have decided that we are going to use colored sand to complete our visual picture. Are you ready? Pour – in goes the bright yellow sand, next goes then orange, the red, the green, the blue, and the purple. All of the sand filters down into the jar all around the rocks and pebbles making a beautiful rainbow all around the jar, have you got that image? Okay, on goes the lid!

The next part of our foundation is to have unity with our spouse. There have been a lot of divorces throughout the years due to finances in a marriage. This happens when the husband and wife are not on the same page as far as their money goes. An example might be if one of the spouses spend money without the other spouse knowing and they have a joint account. Now the money has been spent, but the other spouse still thinks the money is there so, yep, you guessed it, they spend it on something else. When the second check clears the bank, the account is in overdraft, which causes more debt that they had before. If this happens too often, they will never be able to keep their heads above water, which in turn causes friction in the family…. Which is what Satan surely wants☹ It is his goal for us to fail, and to split up our families.

The last piece of our financial house’s foundation is our commitment to becoming self-reliant. With our trust in our Heavenly Father’s plan and the counsel from His prophets, and faith in Jesus Christ –putting Them first! And being united with our spouse (and for me, with my adult children😊) in all things, especially money matters, this is so-o-o-o important (and yes, I am talking from experience). It truly can cause so many unnecessary problems in your marriage, which will cause holes in your foundation. And without making the commitment to be self-reliant, you will probably not have the long-range forethought that you need to do what is necessary for you to be self-reliant. You got this Right? Let’s move on to the next floor in our house.

The Second thing we do is to protect our families from hardship -- by having one month’s emergency fund ( I think this would be 1 month’s wages), 3 – 6 months of savings ( I believe this would be 3-6month’s wages), and having insurance (I would imagine this would mean having medical, life, home, auto, etc. insurance). Sometimes we are advised to pay off our debt as the second thing to do. But the Lord has a better plan in mind for us, if we will just follow it, we will be blessed.

I believe that the people that tell us this are not thinking clearly. The reason I say this is because if you have let’s say $200.00 dollars in your savings and you use that money to pay extra on your debt to help pay it off quicker, what could happen (and usually does)? You get sick and have no sick days – no wages for a day or two – and no extra money because you used it! You see my point? That money would have lowered your debt, but by doing it that way – it left you unprepared for what could happen (and usually does)!

Alright, now that we have our foundation in place and we have covered the first two floors, let’s move on to the Third level of our house of course then, is to eliminate our debt! There are many ways to accomplish this, and I am sure that we will learn more about it as we go, but for now, I will tell you that it is better to pay at least a few dollars extra on your loans to help get them paid off more quickly. It doesn’t have to be very much—even ten or twenty dollars will make a difference in the interest that you will have to pay with you only making the minimum payment each month.

Now, on to the Fourth floor of our financial house is to save and invest for the future through savings, home ownership, education and retirement. This is one that I personally have …I won’t say failed miserably at, but I will say that I haven’t done very well at it. My husband and I have truly only owned one home with five acres, a mobile, and ten acres of ground – where we lived in tents, campers, and camp trailers, through all four seasons😊 but it was our home. We -together, were never very good at saving money, but we tried and tried, and I am still trying😊 I don’t think that we ever really even talked about a retirement plan, which is why, for me anyway, retirement will be just another job ( I advise you not to let yourselves get into this position – it’s not a good place to be when you are getting on in age!).

I went to college, right out of high school, but as life would have it, I was unable to finish when I started having my children. After my first child was born, I had planned to return to finish my degree when she was two, but the Lord sent me another child two weeks before her 2^nd birthday. 😊 This seemed to be the case with my other children arriving just in time for me to put my degree on hold.  And when you have six children it makes it a bit harder to go back to school 😊Being a wife and mother have been a several of the wonderful things in my life though and I have always taken classes throughout the years for work or pleasure. I have always like learning new things, and to be the best I can at my job, I am happy to take classes to keep up with the newest ideas for the children.

The Fifth floor – the roof and right under it—so the attic and roof of our financial house is: For us to continue to give and bless others. For us to teach our children. For us to lift the poor. And for us to press forward in Christ. Some may seem self-explanatory and others, not so much. I am sure we will learn in more detail about these things as we go along, and I will share them with you in another post. This was another assignment for me this week – to track my income and expenses.

3. Track Your Income and Expenses – “The first step to successful financial stewardship is understanding your current financial situation. When you gain a better understanding of where your money is being spent, you can better plan where you want it to go.” For me this was relatively easy since I have only paid my tithing, my car payment and bought some cold medicine😊 so I haven’t had to write down expenses for every night, I happened to make my payments and my shopping in a couple of days. My paychecks only come in twice a month and are the same amount each time, so that part has been easy as well.

We are to the end of this week’s learning from our group. As always, I hope and pray that I have shared something of value to each of you. Until my next post –make it a great week!