Post # 79 – Charity Never Faileth

First Corinthians Chapter One

Dear Family and Friends

Since First Corinthians chapter one was briefly visited in my last post I thought it would be good to discuss it a little bit more in depth. This chapter talks a lot about charity – which is the pure love of Christ. Verse two teaches us that even if we have great faith, if we don’t have charity our faith is nothing. Verse three teaches us that even though we give to feed the poor and needy and give yourself as a sacrifice, without charity it means nothing.

In verse four it teaches us that “Charity suffereth long and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.” And continues in verse five with - charity: “Doth not behave itself unseemingly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; and on in verse six to say that charity: “ Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Verse seven says that charity:”Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 

And verse eight completes the picture of charity as it teaches us:” Charity never faileth; but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. The last verse of 1 Corinthians chapter one – verse thirteen teaches us: “And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the most joyous to the soul (see 1 Nephi 11:23).

General Conference         OCTOBER 2010 | Charity Never Faileth

Thomas S. Monson                 President of the Church

Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life.

Our souls have rejoiced tonight and reached toward heaven. We have been blessed with beautiful music and inspired messages. The Spirit of the Lord is here. I pray for His inspiration to be with me now as I share with you some of my thoughts and feelings.

I begin with a short anecdote which illustrates a point I should like to make.

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

Tonight I’d like to share with you a few thoughts concerning how we view each other. Are we looking through a window which needs cleaning? Are we making judgments when we don’t have all the facts? What do we see when we look at others? What judgments do we make about them?

Said the Savior, “Judge not.”¹ He continued, “Why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”² Or, to paraphrase, why beholdest thou what you think is dirty laundry at your neighbor’s house but considerest not the soiled window in your own house?

None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions.

There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”

Forty-seven years ago this general conference, I was called to the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. At the time, I had been serving on one of the general priesthood committees of the Church, and so before my name was presented, I sat with my fellow members of that priesthood committee, as was expected of me. My wife, however, had no idea where to go and no one with whom she could sit and, in fact, was unable to find a seat anywhere in the Tabernacle. A dear friend of ours, who was a member of one of the general auxiliary boards and who was sitting in the area designated for the board members, asked Sister Monson to sit with her. 

This woman knew nothing of my call—which would be announced shortly—but she spotted Sister Monson, recognized her consternation, and graciously offered her a seat. My dear wife was relieved and grateful for this kind gesture. Sitting down, however, she heard loud whispering behind her as one of the board members expressed her annoyance to those around her that one of her fellow board members would have the audacity to invite an “outsider” to sit in this area reserved only for them. There was no excuse for her unkind behavior, regardless of who might have been invited to sit there. However, I can only imagine how that woman felt when she learned that the “intruder” was the wife of the newest Apostle.

Not only are we inclined to judge the actions and words of others, but many of us judge appearances: clothing, hairstyles, size. The list could go on and on.

A classic account of judging by appearance was printed in a national magazine many years ago. It is a true account—one which you may have heard but which bears repeating.

A woman by the name of Mary Bartels had a home directly across the street from the entrance to a hospital clinic. Her family lived on the main floor and rented the upstairs rooms to outpatients at the clinic.

One evening a truly awful-looking old man came to the door asking if there was room for him to stay the night. He was stooped and shriveled, and his face was lopsided from swelling—red and raw. He said he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success. “I guess it’s my face,” he said. “I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says it could possibly improve after more treatments.” He indicated he’d be happy to sleep in the rocking chair on the porch. As she talked with him, Mary realized this little old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. Although her rooms were filled, she told him to wait in the chair and she’d find him a place to sleep.

At bedtime Mary’s husband set up a camp cot for the man. When she checked in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded and he was out on the porch. He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, he asked if he could return the next time he had a treatment. “I won’t put you out a bit,” he promised. “I can sleep fine in a chair.” Mary assured him he was welcome to come again.

In the several years he went for treatments and stayed in Mary’s home, the old man, who was a fisherman by trade, always had gifts of seafood or vegetables from his garden. Other times he sent packages in the mail.

When Mary received these thoughtful gifts, she often thought of a comment her next-door neighbor made after the disfigured, stooped old man had left Mary’s home that first morning. “Did you keep that awful-looking man last night? I turned him away. You can lose customers by putting up such people.”

Mary knew that maybe they had lost customers once or twice, but she thought, “Oh, if only they could have known him, perhaps their illnesses would have been easier to bear.”

After the man passed away, Mary was visiting with a friend who had a greenhouse. As she looked at her friend’s flowers, she noticed a beautiful golden chrysanthemum but was puzzled that it was growing in a dented, old, rusty bucket. Her friend explained, “I ran short of pots, and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn’t mind starting in this old pail. It’s just for a little while, until I can put it out in the garden.”

Mary smiled as she imagined just such a scene in heaven. “Here’s an especially beautiful one,” God might have said when He came to the soul of the little old man. “He won’t mind starting in this small, misshapen body.” But that was long ago, and in God’s garden how tall this lovely soul must stand!³

Appearances can be so deceiving, such a poor measure of a person. Admonished the Savior, “Judge not according to the appearance.”⁴

A member of a women’s organization once complained when a certain woman was selected to represent the organization. She had never met the woman, but she had seen a photograph of her and didn’t like what she saw, considering her to be overweight. She commented, “Of the thousands of women in this organization, surely a better representative could have been chosen.”

True, the woman who was chosen was not “model slim.” But those who knew her and knew her qualities saw in her far more than was reflected in the photograph. The photograph did show that she had a friendly smile and a look of confidence. What the photograph didn’t show was that she was a loyal and compassionate friend, a woman of intelligence who loved the Lord and who loved and served His children. It didn’t show that she volunteered in the community and was a considerate and concerned neighbor. In short, the photograph did not reflect who she really was.

I ask: if attitudes, deeds, and spiritual inclinations were reflected in physical features, would the countenance of the woman who complained be as lovely as that of the woman she criticized?

My dear sisters, each of you is unique. You are different from each other in many ways. There are those of you who are married. Some of you stay at home with your children, while others of you work outside your homes. Some of you are empty nesters. There are those of you who are married but do not have children. There are those who are divorced, those who are widowed. Many of you are single women. Some of you have college degrees; some of you do not. There are those who can afford the latest fashions and those who are lucky to have one appropriate Sunday outfit. Such differences are almost endless. Do these differences tempt us to judge one another?

I had a sad experience with this when I first joined the church. I overheard some of the women in my ward talking about how I always wore the same dress, didn’t I think that it was important to wear my best in the Lord’s house? Those were hurtful words, but I continued to come in my one dress, because that was all I had. My dress was always cleaned and pressed for each Sunday, I didn’t feel like I could afford to buy another dress.

I figured that the Lord would want to have me in His church no matter what I had to wear😊I have always tried to self-conscious of others and I hope and pray that I have never been the one who has been overheard saying something disrespectful about someone else at any time, if my human side was shining far too brightly, please forgive me. I do try to forgive those who have hurt me.

I loved learning the gospel and teaching the children, so I continued to come – but I almost didn’t☹come back. So, don’t be the cause of someone leaving church because of something they overheard you to say. (or you leaving the church because someone has hurt your feelings or offended you, in one way or another – remember we all let our human side shine far too brightly sometimes – I sure know that I do, ☹ and I apologize for it all of the time.) We must become a better people! I must!

Just think how much better out world would be if we each had just a little bit of charity within us. We would be more forgiving, more tolerant, more patient, kind, loving, hopeful, helpful, prayerful, and so much more. Remember how Jesus treated those people who treated Him with such disrespect, such disbelief, and they tortured and mistreated Him, but He still loved them, He still prayed for each one of those people with His last breaths of life.

Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this profound truth: “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”⁵ The Savior has admonished, “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”⁶ I ask: can we love one another, as the Savior has commanded, if we judge each other? And I answer—with Mother Teresa: no, we cannot.

The Apostle James taught, “If any … among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s [or woman’s] religion is vain.”⁷

I have always loved your Relief Society motto: “Charity never faileth.”⁸ What is charity? The prophet Mormon teaches us that “charity is the pure love of Christ.”⁹ In his farewell message to the Lamanites, Moroni declared, “Except ye have charity ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God.”¹⁰

I consider charity—or “the pure love of Christ”—to be the opposite of criticism and judging. In speaking of charity, I do not at this moment have in mind the relief of the suffering through the giving of our substance. That, of course, is necessary and proper. Tonight, however, I have in mind the charity that manifests itself when we are tolerant of others and lenient toward their actions, the kind of charity that forgives, the kind of charity that is patient.

I have in mind the charity that impels us to be sympathetic, compassionate, and merciful, not only in times of sickness and affliction and distress but also in times of weakness or error on the part of others.

There is a serious need for the charity that gives attention to those who are unnoticed, hope to those who are discouraged, aid to those who are afflicted. True charity is love in action. The need for charity is everywhere. 


If you see others as the Savior sees them, you will have no problem performing true charity – love in action. Remember that we are all children of a Heavenly father who loves each of us so much that He sent His Only begotten Son to come to earth and to pay the price of each of our individual sins and transgressions – His generous and eternal Atonement covers all of u, one by one.

Needed is the charity which refuses to find satisfaction in hearing or in repeating the reports of misfortunes that come to others, unless by so doing, the unfortunate one may be benefited. The American educator and politician Horace Mann once said, “To pity distress is but human; to relieve it is godlike.”¹¹ how often do we hear others talking about someone else and just sit and listen and do nothing to stop those words from moving on to another person? I know that I have been guilty at least a time or two. How often do we judge another – even in our minds? I am at my worst when I am behind the wheel of my car☹

Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others.

Charity, that pure love of Christ, is manifest when a group of young women from a singles ward travels hundreds of miles to attend the funeral services for the mother of one of their Relief Society sisters. Charity is shown when devoted visiting teachers return month after month, year after year to the same uninterested, somewhat critical sister. It is evident when an elderly widow is remembered and taken to ward functions and to Relief Society activities. It is felt when the sister sitting alone in Relief Society receives the invitation, “Come—sit by us.”

In a hundred small ways, all of you wear the mantle of charity. Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out.

Charity has been defined as “the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,”¹² the “pure love of Christ … ; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with [her].”¹³

“Charity never faileth.” May this long-enduring Relief Society motto, this timeless truth, guide you in everything you do. May it permeate your very souls and find expression in all your thoughts and actions.

I express my love to you, my sisters, and pray that heaven’s blessings may ever be yours. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

It looks like President Monson gave this message to the sisters at the 2010 general conference, but the message can be applied to men and boys alike. I believe Charity should be possessed by everyone, just think how beneficial this would be to each and every person around the globe? If we are not possessed of a lot of charity – which is the pure love of Christ, I have hope that as President Monson has said that “In a hundred small ways, all of you wear the mantle of charity.”

Let us each make this a challenge to examine ourselves to see just how much charity we possess. Then let’s go the next step and increase our charity. Let’s see people the way Christ would see them. Let’s treat others the way He would treat them if He were here! I hope and pray that the Lord will be with each one of us – yes, me included – and give us what we need to complete this challenge and for each one of us, in turn to do what is necessary for us to increase our charity and become more like our Savior, Jesus Christ. Let’s not let our human side shine so brightly okay?

Let us not be judgmental or critical with one another. Let us show kindness and love to all those we meet. Let us serve one another with a willing heart and a loving embrace. Let us remember the ‘golden rule’ treat others as you would have them treat you! Let us be like Jesus and forgive and pray for others every day😊 I believe that there is great power in prayer. Keep praying, keep reading and studying your scriptures, and let’s keep learning the gospel together. You are an amazing child of God -- every single one of you!

Remember what President Monson has taught us and what he has asked us to do: “In a hundred small ways, all of you wear the mantle of charity. Life is perfect for none of us. Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life. May we recognize that each one is doing her best to deal with the challenges which come her way, and may we strive to do our best to help out.

Charity has been defined as “the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,”¹² the “pure love of Christ … ; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with [her].”¹³

“Charity never faileth.” May this long-enduring Relief Society motto, this timeless truth, guide you in everything you do. May it permeate your very souls and find expression in all your thoughts and actions.” Well, you guessed it! We are at the end of this post. So, until my next post let us make charity our number one priority 😊 and make it a wonderful week!