Post # 63 – Do We Make Resolutions or Goals??

Dear Family and Friends

Well, here we are at the beginning of another new year! WOW!! 2019! I don’t know about you, but I think that the older I get the faster the years seem to go by. When you were a kid did you ever think that you would live to the year 2019?  (this question is for us older folks😊). I mean when you were young, and you saw your grandparents and knew that they were old people – did you think that you were going to live to be as old as they were? Because when you’re a kid your grandparents do seem to be really old😊right? I just had my sixty-first birthday in 2018 and I do not feel old. I know that my preschool students have said that their grandparents are old. They probably think that I am old too, but just have never said anything to me about it😊

Most people think of making new year’s resolutions – which usually do not last very long, beginning of each new year. Something that they want to accomplish or simply get better at throughout the coming year. I used to be very diligent about doing this at the end of each year. I would make a huge list of things that I wanted to do throughout the coming year. I don’t even think they were called goals when I was young – just things to do each year. I guess more of a wish list or a to do list.

I have often thought about the things that I would like to change in my life to make it better – you know, like lose weight, or learn something new, finish a project that I have started. I have made lists for each area in my life that I want to improve on --- because there is always room for improvement, right? This past couple of years I have been working on putting together a three-year curriculum for my preschool students and each year I have added things to my list to help get that more together. So, for most people my to do lists would be their list of goals, I guess.

I have found, through my years of experience, that for me making long lists is not a good thing. In fact, it can be most depressing, because I would set myself up for failure. Setting goals at the beginning of each new year or each month even can be very helpful though. I think setting a worthwhile goal is a good thing to do and there is no rule that you must await until the new year to set goals. You can set your goals any time you want or need to accomplish something worthwhile. Using the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting method is very helpful for most people. I think it is most important for us to remember to go to the Lord in all our decision making, especially in our goal setting.

There are several scripture references to setting goals. There are some great ones here: https://celebrateeverydaywithme.com/25-scripture-verses-on-goal-setting/

 Luke 14:28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?

This one can be applied to short term as well as long term goals; for small projects like making a blanket or buying a bike or large projects like buying a house or a car.

I have gone to many workshops and taken many classes throughout my years and have received a lot of conflicting ideas about goal setting. Goal setting in and of itself is a good idea, but you have to make sure that your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. I have heard this acronym (S.M. A.R.T.) used with different words, but very similar in meaning for the most part. I know this is what we use at work for setting goals, so I thought I would share some of the information with you. Most of you probably already know this stuff, but I am sure a refresher course won’t hurt will it?

·         Specific – the goal should have a specific purpose and a specific end

·         Measurable – you should be able to measure and track your progress of your goals in some tangible way

·         Achievable – set challenging and achievable goals. goals you have the ability and tools to accomplish.

·         Relevant – your goals should be relevant to and fit in with your over-all life plan

·         Time-Based – you should be able to achieve or reach your goals in a set time frame

I have to tell you, it is very hard for me to stick to things – especially if it is not in my sight, so that I know that I need to work on it. Like this blog – it has taken me so long to get it written. I put my computer away, then I forget that I haven’t finished it --- or residual effects from having had strokes – I think that I have already finished it and I did but forgot to press publish ☹ sad but true!!! If you haven’t noticed, I have don’t that several times already.  I use daily to-do lists to keep me on track – you know like things I need to be doing every day: taking my medication, saying my prayers, my many appointments, reading my scriptures, doing my lesson plans, getting things ready for my daily work, etc. then I check things off as I go. I have my planner and my calendar and I have found that setting alarms on my phone helps to keep things in remembrance as well😊 I am sure you each have your own systems that help you get through each day with as much ease as possible😊

My life is so full of oddities and different ways that I have adapted my life to the things that have happened in it that I appreciate others who have it together. After I had my strokes, I became somewhat a creature of habit—for example, I need to put my shoes, my keys, my jacket, my glasses, etc. all in the same place each night or I will forget by morning where I put them. And if I rearrange things --- oh boy!! I really struggle for a long while because I remember things in the last place where they were before I rearranged. (Needless to say) I do not do much rearranging of my things and I tend to be in a cluttered environment. Not so much because I am a messy person, but simply because I need to see the things that I need to be working on or I will forget that I need to do them! I found a couple of articles on goal setting that I wanted to share:

      Ready, Set, Goal!              By Janine Creager

So, how can we make goal-setting a more productive part of our lives? How can we take our dreams and turn them into actions? Taking a few cues from some people who have found success in setting goals may help. But ultimately, it’s all about our individual motivation and desire that will make the difference. 

Going Cold Turkey

One approach to keeping New Year’s resolutions is going cold turkey – whether in an effort to begin a new project, or to get rid of some annoying habit. That brings up one of the biggest make-it-and-break-it resolutions for most people: exercising. While getting out of my post-pregnancy fat pants was indeed a great accomplishment one year, I found, like so many of you, that achieving that one goal wasn’t enough to put me on a regular exercising schedule.  

My “aha” moment to this dilemma came one day when I realized that I had been waiting for that sense of exhilaration I’ve heard other exercise enthusiasts talk about. I then had this startling and revealing thought: I may never get to that point, and that’s okay. If being fit was important to my physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being, I might as well stop whining about it and, well, just do it. I didn’t need a gym membership, or a new pair of running shoes – I just needed a new attitude.   

From that day forward, exercising (whether walking, running, or working out with an exercise video at home) has come much more easily. Oh, there are plenty of days when I don’t make it out there, and don’t particularly enjoy it, but I always feel better afterwards. And the reaction of my doctor when he saw my lowered cholesterol score due to my more active lifestyle has been the best motivation to keep me going.

It’s the Little Things That Count

In the middle of this resolution roller coaster is the idea that while we may not be ready for organized charts, or don’t have the courage to go cold turkey, any step forward is a step in the right direction. Jenica McKenzie of West Valley City, Utah, confesses that she is “perfectly inconsistent” in keeping any resolution she has made. Yet even in her own way, she is able to set a course and see progress in her life.  

“I personally write a list of to-do's everyday,” she says. “I love to check things off!  I include on my list things that I should be doing everyday, to help remind me of how important they are.  Then I get the satisfaction of checking off things that I wouldn't normally check off, like: scripture study, taking the kids to school, doing the dishes, folding laundry, making such-and-such for dinner, etc.” 

Loa Simons of Orem, Utah, on the other hand, has learned that sticker charts are not just for kids anymore.  “I enjoy putting stickers on my calendar for different goals,” explains Loa. “To keep track of my temple attendance, I put stars on my chart. For exercise, I use ones that say things like ‘Cool!’ or “First Rate!’ The more I see those stickers, the more I know I’m getting in shape.” Being able to look over her past successes increases her confidence. And telling herself, “If I can just make it though, I get to put a sticker on” is frequently enough to keep her going when she wonders if she has enough motivation to complete her workout. 

The important thing is to do something, anything, although we may need to lower our expectations at first. After all, the pounds won’t magically melt off in a few days or weeks if we haven’t been physically active. We need to allow our growth to come at its own pace, and celebrate the good we are doing. One way to do this is to record those successes is in a notebook or journal. 

Make a Note of That

My notebook of accomplishments came about quite by accident. I had been given a small book at a Relief Society to use for goal setting, an overwhelming task for me at the time. But I felt I ought to do something with this gift, and began to record various accomplishments I had achieved. That first year, I wrote down titles of the books that I read, the fact that I finished a cross-stitch pattern, and had served as the Ward Music Chairman. It was a relatively short list, but gave me satisfaction to see that I had done something besides change diapers and clean house that year.  

The next year I expanded my entries to include family milestones, seeing the cherry blossoms in Washington, D.C. for the first time, and that defining day when I got out of those fat pants. Over a period of eight years, I eventually saw that I wasn’t the total failure I had thought I was. That was when I ventured into the world of setting goals.  

Out of the six goals I set that year, I accomplished only three of them. But the fact that I had achieved any of them was a huge success and gave me the impetus to try again. In the years since, I have set goals to play through every hymn in the hymnbook, learn how to watercolor, and to self-publish my first book. The notebook, which has become a treasured journal, showed me that I could accomplish many things, and had no reason to be afraid of trying. 

Do I now sit at home every night and dream up more goals to set? Far from it. I still struggle to achieve some objectives, but am much more confident than ever before. So, why not give one of these ideas a try. Don’t be afraid of falling short: just get back up on the horse or exercise bike and try again.

And while January 1^st may continue to be the traditional goal setting time of year, there’s no reason to limit yourself. If an opportunity arises to participate in a 5K Walk/Run this summer, or to take a continuing education class in the fall – go for it. Setting and accomplishing goals in our lives will never go out of season.

Counsel from Mormon leaders about goal-setting

By Melissa DeMoux             For Mormon Times        Published: January 2, 2011 6:30 am

A new year is spilling over the horizon along with an opportunity to evaluate the past year and look forward to the promise of the coming year.

When setting goals, following the counsel of LDS leaders will keep the future bright. Following are pieces of guidance given by leaders to help individuals set and achieve worthwhile goals in the coming year.

·  "We can become the masters of our own destinies by practicing self-discipline and by setting worthy goals that will lead to higher ground so that we can become what our Heavenly Father wants us to become."

Elder M. Russell Ballard, May 2003 New Era

·  You must avoid blindness of mind by setting goals. ... I have long contended that the person who sets goals and who strives to attain such is the master of his own fate."

Elder Carlos E. Asay, May 1985 New Era

·  "When it came to setting goals, my father had three rules. First, we had to have worthwhile goals. Second, we could change our goals at any time. But third, whatever goal we chose, we had to work diligently toward it."

Elder Gene R. Cook, April 2008 Liahona

·  "Set short-term goals that you can reach. Set goals that are well balanced, not too many nor too few, and not too high nor too low. Write down your attainable goals, and work on them according to their importance. Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting."

Elder M. Russell Ballard, May 1987 Ensign

·  "I believe in goals, but I believe that the individual should set his own. Goal setting should cause us to stretch as we make our way."

President Spencer W. Kimball quoted by Elder Marvin J. Ashton, November 1983 Ensign

·  "May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you. But don’t reach beyond your capacity. Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve. Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure. Don’t compare yourself with others. Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest. Have faith and confidence in Him, and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones."

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, September 2009 Liahona

An August 1998 Liahona article entitled "Strengthen Your Sense of Self-Worth" gave suggestions about setting goals:

·  Keep your goals realistic, not so high that they’re impossible to attain.

·  Set some little goals. The more you achieve, the better you’ll feel about yourself.

·  Write down each of your goals. Remember, a goal not written is only a wish.

·  Share your goals with a friend, and encourage that person to set some, too. You can motivate and applaud each other.

·  Be committed to your goals. Do what you have to do to achieve them, and don’t become discouraged if they’re challenging.

·  Don’t compete with others. Compete with yourself. Don’t make your goals depend on another’s performance. Decide to attain a level of personal excellence no matter what others achieve.

·  Share your goals with Heavenly Father. Talk to him in prayer. Ask for help in reaching your goals or in understanding why you didn’t. He’ll help you feel good about the positive things you achieve.

Melissa DeMoux is a stay-at-home mother of six young children and lives in West Valley City.

Well we are at the end of this post FINALLY!! There are a few final thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions and Goal Setting:

1. Make sure you keep your goals in line with what your Heavenly Father wants for you. Ask yourself with each goal you set if it will help you reach your divine potential?

2. Remember who you are! You are a child of God! Your number one goal should be to get back home to live with Him for all eternity. Your goals should reflect this.

3. Be flexible. Don’t give Up. Keep trying to do a little better each day. Remember you can’t win the Olympics without training first – right?? Don’t be too hard on yourself – we can be our own worse enemy I think.

4. Remember the little things: Prayer, Scripture Study, Family Home Evening, Family Prayers and Family Scripture Study, etc. be consistent with these things.

5. Don’t set too many goals. You can always add another goal when you accomplish one that you have set, so don’t overwhelm yourselves with too many okay?

I am not so sure if I am the best one for giving advice about goal setting when I do struggle so with it, but I want you to know and remember that you can always begin again – tomorrow is a new day, a day to begin again😊 I always tell my students to do their very best every day and try to do better today that you did yesterday, and better tomorrow than you did today. When things go wrong as happens in life ALL THE TIME, just remember to pick up the pieces and begin again! I am sorry for taking so long to finish this post☹ if you have already set your goals – good for you!! I am proud of you! If you have not yet set your goals, hopefully I have given you some good ideas for a goal setting start. Until my next post remember to be prayerful, diligent, consistent, in the small things each day😊