Post # 229 - Happy Father’s Day 

Dear Family and Friends

I pray that you will all have a wonderful Father's Day. I hope

that no matter the weather that you will enjoy spending time

with your families. I will be spending time with my sons and

their families hopefully as well as my son-in-law and younger

daughter and my daughters children. 

I had to make that fast trip to the city to have my hip looked

at in order to get the necessary information for the insurance

company so that they will cover the cost of the injection that

I need in order for me not to be in pain all the time. I certainly

can get a whole lot more things done if i am not in constant pain. 

It's funny [ not a laughing funny either] that I was in so much

pain for all of those almost nine years with my knee and then

knees that when I was completely out of pain I hadn't realized

just how much pain that I had endured until it was not there

anymore. I know that sounds kind of weird, but i guess that's

how it was for me, it may be different for you. 

I guess it really depends on how you can handle pain in your life.

I learned to deal with it a lot, and for a lot of years with my back.

Sometimes I would sit down and not be able to get up without

being in just the right position or I would get up and not be able to bend over. 

I ended up crawling around on the floor to pick up things off the

floor because I could not bend over to pick them up without a lot

of pain, it was easier to crawl around and pick things up than it

was to bend over and pick them up. Again, I know it sounds weird,

but that was just how it was for me for many years.

Oh, geez, am I rambling this morning. I wanted to share the

following message with all of the Fathers out there. I do hope

that each one of you are having a wonderful day!! It is about the

importance of fathers, good fathers. Fathers who lead and guide

their families with love. 

Fathers who teach their children about their relationship with

their Father in heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. Fathers who

love their wives and love their children and  take care of them

both. I never had this kind of father and looking back I guess

my children never did either. I wanted so much more for my

children than I ever had. 

And i never wanted any of them to go through the things that I

had to go through growing up in my family. One of my son’s is

currently going through a very painful divorce and all he wants

to do is continue to love his daughters and to be there for

those girls who are not even biologically his but he has raised

them for the past twelve years and has considered them each

on his daughters from the beginning of his marriage.

Fathers

By Elder D. Todd Christofferson

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I focus today on the good that men can do in the highest of

masculine roles—husband and father.

I speak today of fathers. Fathers are fundamental in the divine plan of

happiness, and I want to raise a voice of encouragement for those who are

striving to fill well that calling. To praise and encourage fatherhood and

fathers is not to shame or discount anyone. I simply focus today on the good

that men can do in the highest of masculine roles—husband and father.

David Blankenhorn, the author of Fatherless America, has observed: “Today,

American society is fundamentally divided and ambivalent about the

fatherhood idea. Some people do not even remember it. Others are offended

by it. Others, including more than a few family scholars, neglect it or disdain

it. Many others are not especially opposed to it, nor are they especially

committed to it. Many people wish we could act on it, but believe that our

society simply no longer can or will.”1

As a Church, we believe in fathers. We believe in “the ideal of the man who

puts his family first.”2 We believe that “by divine design, fathers are to preside

over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the

necessities of life and protection for their families.”3 We believe that in their

complementary family duties, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one

another as equal partners.”4 We believe that far from being superfluous,

fathers are unique and irreplaceable.

Some see the good of fatherhood in social terms, as something that obligates

men to their offspring, impelling them to be good citizens and to think about

the needs of others, supplementing “maternal investment in children with

paternal investment in children. … In short, the key for men is to be fathers.

The key for children is to have fathers. The key for society is to create fathers.”5

While these considerations are certainly true and important, we know that

fatherhood is much more than a social construct or the product of

evolution.

The role of father is of divine origin, beginning with a Father

in Heaven and, in this mortal sphere, with Father Adam.

The perfect, divine expression of fatherhood is our Heavenly Father. His

character and attributes include abundant goodness and perfect love. His work

and glory are the development, happiness, and eternal life of His children.6

Fathers in this fallen world can claim nothing comparable to the Majesty on

High, but at their best, they are striving to emulate Him, and they indeed labor

in His work. They are honored with a remarkable and sobering trust.

For men, fatherhood exposes us to our own weaknesses and our need to

improve. Fatherhood requires sacrifice, but it is a source of incomparable

satisfaction, even joy.

Again, the ultimate model is our Heavenly Father,

who so loved us, His spirit children, that He gave us His Only Begotten

Son for our salvation and exaltation.7 Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man

than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”8 Fathers manifest that

love as they lay down their lives day by day, laboring in the service and

support of their families.

Perhaps the most essential of a father’s work is to turn the hearts of his

children to their Heavenly Father. If by his example as well as his words a

father can demonstrate what fidelity to God looks like in day-to-day living,

that father will have given his children the key to peace in this life and eternal

life in the world to come.9 A father who reads scripture to and with his

children acquaints them with the voice of the Lord.10

We find in the scriptures a repeated emphasis on the parental obligation to

teach one’s children:

“And again, inasmuch as parents have children in Zion, or in any of her

stakes which are organized, that teach them not to understand the doctrine

of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and

the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years

old, the sin be upon the heads of the parents. …

“And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly

before the Lord.”11

In 1833, the Lord reprimanded members of the First Presidency for

inadequate attention to the duty of teaching their children. To one He said

specifically, “You have not taught your children light and truth, according

to the commandments; and that wicked one hath power, as yet, over you,

and this is the cause of your affliction.”12

Fathers are to teach God’s law and works anew to each generation.

As the Psalmist declared:

“For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel,

which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to

their children:

“That the generation to come might know them, even the children which

should be born; who should [then] arise and declare them to their children:

“That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God,

but keep his commandments.”13

Certainly teaching the gospel is a shared duty between fathers and

mothers, but the Lord is clear that He expects fathers to lead out in

making it a high priority. (And let’s remember that informal conversations,

working and playing together, and listening are important elements of

teaching.) The Lord expects fathers to help shape their children, and

children want and need a model.

I myself was blessed with an exemplary father. I recall that when I was a boy

of about 12, my father became a candidate for the city council in our rather

small community. He did not mount an extensive election campaign—all I

remember was that Dad had my brothers and me distribute copies of a flyer door to door, urging people to vote for Paul Christofferson. There were a

number of adults that I handed a flyer to who remarked that Paul was a good

and honest man and that they would have no problem voting for him.

My young boy heart swelled with pride in my father. It gave me confidence

and a desire to follow in his footsteps. He was not perfect—no one is—

but he was upright and good and an aspirational example for a son.

Discipline and correction are part of teaching. As Paul said, “For whom the

Lord loveth he chasteneth.”14 But in discipline a father must exercise

particular care, lest there be anything even approaching abuse, which is

never justified.

When a father provides correction, his motivation must

be love and his guide the Holy Spirit:

“Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost;

and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom

thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;

“That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.”15

Discipline in the divine pattern is not so much about punishing as it is

about helping a loved one along the path of self-mastery.

The Lord has said that “all children have claim upon their parents for their

maintenance until they are of age.”16 Breadwinning is a consecrated

activity. Providing for one’s family, although it generally requires time

away from the family, is not inconsistent with fatherhood—it is the

essence of being a good father. “Work and family are overlapping domains.”17 This, of course, does not justify a man who neglects his

family for his career or, at the other extreme, one who will not exert

himself and is content to shift his responsibility to others.

In the words of King Benjamin:

“Ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will

ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one

with another. …

“But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will

teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.”18

We recognize the agony of men who are unable to find ways and means

adequately to sustain their families. There is no shame for those who, at a given moment, despite their best efforts, cannot fulfill all the duties and

functions of fathers. “Disability, death, or other circumstances may

necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support

when needed.”19

\

Loving the mother of his children—and showing that love—are two of the

best things a father can do for his children. This reaffirms and strengthens

the marriage that is the foundation of their family life and security.

Some men are single fathers, foster fathers, or stepfathers. Many of them strive mightily and do their very best in an often difficult role. We honor

those who do all that can be done in love, patience, and self-sacrifice to

meet individual and family needs. It should be noted that God Himself

entrusted His Only Begotten Son to a foster father. Surely some of the

credit goes to Joseph for the fact that as Jesus grew, He “increased in

wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.”20

Regrettably, due to death, abandonment, or divorce, some children don’t

have fathers living with them. Some may have fathers who are physically

present but emotionally absent or in other ways inattentive or nonsupportive.

We call on all fathers to do better and to be better. We call on media and

entertainment outlets to portray devoted and capable fathers who truly love

their wives and intelligently guide their children, instead of the bumblers and

buffoons or “the guys who cause problems,” as fathers are all too frequently

depicted.

To children whose family situation is troubled, we say, you yourself are no

less for that. Challenges are at times an indication of the Lord’s trust in you.

He can help you, directly and through others, to deal with what you face.

You can become the generation, perhaps the first in your family, where the divine patterns that God has ordained for families truly take shape and bless

all the generations after you.

To young men, recognizing the role you will have as provider and

protector, we say, prepare now by being diligent in school and planning

for postsecondary training. Education, whether in a university, technical

school, apprenticeship, or similar program, is key to developing the skills

and capabilities you will need. Take advantage of opportunities to associate

with people of all ages, including children, and learn how to establish healthy

and rewarding relationships. That typically means talking face to face with

people and sometimes doing things together, not just perfecting your texting

skills. Live your life so that as a man you will bring purity to your

marriage and to your children.

To all the rising generation, we say, wherever you rank your own father on

the scale of good-better-best (and I predict that ranking will go higher as you

grow older and wiser), make up your mind to honor him and your mother by

your own life. Remember the yearning hope of a father as expressed by John:

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”21 Your

righteousness is the greatest honor any father can receive.

To my brethren, the fathers in this Church, I say, I know you wish you were a more perfect father. I know I wish I were. Even so, despite our limitations, let

us press on. Let us lay aside the exaggerated notions of individualism and

autonomy in today’s culture and think first of the happiness and well-being of

others. Surely, despite our inadequacies, our Heavenly Father will magnify us

and cause our simple efforts to bear fruit. I am encouraged by a story that

appeared in the New Era some years ago. The author recounted the following:

“When I was young, our little family lived in a one-bedroom apartment on

]the second floor. I slept on the couch in the living room. …

“My dad, a steelworker, left home very early for work each day. Every

morning he would … tuck the covers around me and stop for a minute. I

would be half-dreaming when I could sense my dad standing beside the couch,

looking at me. As I slowly awoke, I became embarrassed to have him there. I

tried to pretend I was still asleep. … I became aware that as he stood beside

my bed he was praying with all his attention, energy, and focus—for me.

“Each morning my dad prayed for me. He prayed that I would have a good

day, that I would be safe, that I would learn and prepare for the future. And

since he could not be with me until evening, he prayed for the teachers and

my friends that I would be with that day. …

“At first, I didn’t really understand what my dad was doing those mornings

when he prayed for me. But as I got older, I came to sense his love and

interest in me and everything I was doing. It is one of my favorite memories.

It wasn’t until years later, after I was married, had children of my own, and

would go into their rooms while they were asleep and pray for them that I

understood completely how my father felt about me.”22

Alma testified to his son:

“Behold, I say unto you, that it is [Christ] that surely shall come … ; yea

he cometh to declare glad tidings of salvation unto his people.

“And now, my son, this was the ministry unto which ye were called, to

declare these glad tidings unto this people, to prepare their minds; or rather

… that they may prepare the minds of their children to hear the word at the time of his coming.”23

That is the ministry of fathers today. God bless and make them equal to it, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

What do you think? This talk was worth the read, and I am not even a father! It gave me hope for my sons as they are raising

their children, because there are some very clear guidelines for

fathers as well as those who will eventually become the future fathers of our world. 

You fathers out there are doing better than you think you are,

but if you have not been teaching your children about their

Heavenly Father, now is a great time to start!!! I know that once

they grow up it is a whole lot harder to try to teach them, but I

believe that it is never too late!!

I must believe that  as I am even now trying to teach my children

and they are all grown up and have families of their own. I must

do all I can to teach them so that they in turn can do all they can

to teach their children. And in turn their children can teach their

children and so on and so on. 

So please never give up hope of teaching your children of their

Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ! Reach out and teach

your grandchildren if you have the opportunity to do so before

you no longer have that option to do so. You never know when it

will be your time to leave this earth and move on to the next

life.

I don't know about you, but I want to be able to say that I did

my best to rectify the mistake I made having not taught my

children enough when they were young. Well, again, I have

rambled a bit much, today. Enjoy your Father's Day gentlemen!

Until my next post, please do all you can to teach your children

about Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and do your best to

keep your family members and friends safe!!